So we did it. We passed. Catherine and I took part in our pre marriage course on Saturday past. What can I say about it...
I mentioned in my last post about my apprehension about the course and that I would find it difficult to not hold myself back from speaking my mind. I did indeed find it very difficult. But thankfully Catherine and I have the ability to do almost telepathic conversations between us. Mostly they went like.
James mind : “ Did you hear what they just said!!!”
Catherines mind: “Yes... i know”
James mind: “I have to say something”
Catherines mind: “Bite your tongue it’s almost time for the break”
To be completely honest I do understand the need for the course in some circumstances. But if you really truly needed it, you shouldn’t be getting married in the first place. They did cover a lot of material, and they were very open and honest about their own experiences and feelings. As part of the course you have a book to fill in about personal feeling and thoughts about the future. Mostly I had fun with these comparing how we matched our answers for all the exercises. In a way it seemed the exercises were designed to cause conflict between couples. This naturally had no effect on us.
At the end of the course I came away with a few conclusions:
Firstly it would have been more beneficial to the course to have had a married male perspective; the opinions of 2 married women became a little one-sided, bordering on sexist.
Secondly the course may be designed in such a way that you never want to do it again – so stay married forever or live in fear of doing the course again.
Lastly, the stage Catherine and I are at in our relationship there was nothing new to us. I would see the benefit for such a course of a very young immature couple that need to be shocked out of married life. But from what I could tell looking around at all the couples there it was like teaching your granny how to suck eggs.
The best piece of advice I got from the day was from Catherine,
“Go in with a positive attitude, and if you come away with one positive thing it will all be worthwhile.”
I did come away with one positive thing, but I had it before I went in... My wonderful fiancé.
